cause that's the way what we've got goes
There are times that I think I'll be ok with the way things are. Sometimes, it's all I want. The opportunity for an asexual relationship, that even goes as far as being non-romantic...but still as close as ours? It sounds like a wonderful idea. I'm not going to lie, that it's what I've been looking for. For just a deep knowledge of eachother, a deep, unfathomable love and understanding. I believe that's what I have with her. And I think that we will always have that, regardless of our relationship status with eachother.
On the other hand, I understand that she is the only person this is possible with. I want things to work with her, I want to be in love with her, and not just at her. I want her to stay with me, because, how perfect would that be? To be dating my soulmate, the one person I've got the deepest connection imaginable with? A lot of the time I feel, if I can't have a relationship with her...then I don't really want to have one with anyone else. Not even in an emo sort of way, just sort of matter of fact. I do believe that I will love her forever, for the rest of my life, whether we are dating or not. I know that no other romantic relationship could yield what I have with her, so there is no point in pursuing them.
Most of the time, I'm ok with that. I'm perfectly content. But I know I will always desire more with her. That's why I hope she feels the same way.
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