Tuesday, January 27, 2009

In The Night


Late last night, around midnight, I was talking to my sister online. Her parents are away on a cruise so she is home alone, and she was lonely. I offered to come to her place and keep her company, which she was happy about. During the walk to her place, I thought...this is really the kind of person I want to be.
I'm just getting used to the practice of love towards friends. Well, getting re-used to it. I lost it when I was a child, after my pack dissapated. I want to be a good person within my friend group and build a strong community to interact with as I grow older. However, I was always afraid I was too "antisocial" in order to achieve something like this.
But I know that I would love a close knit family for her children and (possibly) mine to be raised in. I never had that growing up, but I think that it would do a child well.
Seeing as I want to fulfill my calling as a housewife (or, homemaker), it is a good place for me to start - stregnthening my family bonds within my friendgroup. I see no reason why my passion cannot be communal, in fact I think it could be very helpful.
I am hopeful about my future. I think about it and am happy. I know that my wife is worried, but I'm not. I know as long as we have eachother things will be ok. Our world was built by people who had nothing to their name but love. She is afraid of being the breadwinner, and sometimes I feel bad for placing that burden on her - but I know that because of this, she will all the more need my care and devotion as a wife and homemaker. It is not as if I refuse to work, should we need...but I would worry about her health if she didn't have someone like me looking after her.

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