At this point in time I am faced with a dilemma. It's something that doesn't particularly bother me at all, but also that I am absolutely bitter about having to do.
It doesn't bother me, after all, because I lived so much of my life like this before, I know what it's like, I'm used to it. But it was something I thought I wouldn't have to do again, I thought I was safe from it.
I thought there were people who would be there for me but I was wrong.
Maybe it is a lesson for me, never get too comfortable. After all, a Grey is always meant to be alone. Maybe I was foolish to think things could be different. Well, now I've been told it can never change, so what am I going to do?
Silly me, I am going to believe it.
A part of me says that this is so stupid, so pathetic, but another part doesn't care. Or in truth, most of me is too tired to care anymore. Too tired to do anything. But why can't I sleep?
If I am destined to this anyway, I might as well get used to it. To all these lies, broken promises and empty concerns. To things that I can't handle.
Oh silly me, for a moment I thought I mattered.
Forgive me, I've come back to my senses now.
