I am afraid I have lost my belief in love.
All because I wanted to believe, I fell for the same lies over and over. I got hurt time and time again because after all; they were lies. And even though love has been the one thing I've yearned for my whole life, I think I might just give up.
I will never find what I am looking for.
It's best not even to let others know the desire is there. Not let people see the real me order understand me as I have wanted. Things will be so much easier that way.
Maybe it will suffice, if I allowed myself to become everything to someone else. They can place all the burdens of fear unto me, and I will bear them. They need not know of my fears. They need not know my weaknesses or my wounds. I will be what they want of me and I will never allow myself to feel as though I can open up again.
I don't know if this is a choice or if it is something that I've just become.
But I will never love that way again.
