I am afraid I have lost my belief in love.
All because I wanted to believe, I fell for the same lies over and over. I got hurt time and time again because after all; they were lies. And even though love has been the one thing I've yearned for my whole life, I think I might just give up.
I will never find what I am looking for.
It's best not even to let others know the desire is there. Not let people see the real me order understand me as I have wanted. Things will be so much easier that way.
Maybe it will suffice, if I allowed myself to become everything to someone else. They can place all the burdens of fear unto me, and I will bear them. They need not know of my fears. They need not know my weaknesses or my wounds. I will be what they want of me and I will never allow myself to feel as though I can open up again.
I don't know if this is a choice or if it is something that I've just become.
But I will never love that way again.
You actually brought me to tears with this one Himmel. I have been trying to fill those shoes for a long while now, but it seems old habits die hard. Very hard. And that has made real love very hard. On both ends of my relationship, but don't give up on being you just yet. Somewhere out there is a person who you will be everything for; just as you are.
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