The past might be nice sometimes butit's a Hell of a place to try and live
I can't stop myself thinking of that world. At this point I'm not necessarily seeing that as a problem but then again, when you want something you won't see it as a problem whether it is or not.
After all these years I haven't changed one bit, it seems. All sorts have things have happened in between and all sorts have thoughts gone through my head, but now...all that might as well have not happened.
The only thing I can see is myself. This is me as a being and this is me on the inside and this is how I view this world and so on and so on...Once again I do not view myself as a part of this world, but only as a visitor here. Only searching for my next way back home. Always the same wish on 11:11. Just to leave here and get it all over with.
I can hardly bring myself to bother with things that supposedly matter in this world, knowing that I don't belong here. That I'll be going home one day. It won't be long before my voice changes, probably. But until then I wonder if there will be any outside signs at all.
And its not that I'm depressed. Like I said, I do not see this as a problem. And I do not feel like I should be unhappy, since that is a waste of time. I do like this world and I do think its beautiful. But it is not mine and it is not my home. So I am still searching for a way back - whether that's the best thing to do or not.
After all these years I haven't changed one bit.
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